We Choose Joy

Create Margin for what Matters

Family, Grief, Life, Work ·

Hmm, What Do I Want?

“The most important thing in life is knowing the most important thing in life.”

— David Jakielo

Hmm, what do I want? This is probably a question we ask ourselves pretty regularly. Hmm, what do I want for breakfast? What do I want my kids to be when they grow up? Shoot, what do I want to be when I grow up?! It’s a question that covers lots of ground, from the simple to the complex decisions of our lives.

In my life, I have hade to belly up to the difficult decision-making bar more times than I can count. I have no doubt every one of you can completely relate to that. However, there was one point in my life that really tested me, and I want to share.

After Jayson passed away in 2015 my world was a steady stream of steps. Some were forward, some backward, but many were side to side. For my entire adult life at that point, I had made decisions with a partner and now that partner was no longer available to give me feedback, ask questions, or say hell yeah go for it! That silence literally pulled the breath from my lungs giving me moments where I was actually gasping for air.

After weeks of going through the motions, and handling all of the immediate decisions that needed to be made, I knew I needed to start tackling some of our new life decisions. Grief can feel very alone. Regardless of how many people were “around”, I wasn’t on this island by myself, I had two little girls that were looking to me to provide all that they needed. I needed to make a plan. My body and brain were completely consumed by the fatigue, body aches, low energy and memory loss, that grief strangles you with. I literally struggled to remember things that were happening in the same day. The energized, multi-tasking, “right on top of that Rose” Megan was not available for a consult. I had to find a new way to sort out my paths and find direction.

So I pulled out my trusty whiteboard ( I am addicted to whiteboards, and you should know that about me) and I made the most basic list that ended up shifting my mindset forever. I made three columns,

What Do I Need?

What Do I Want?

What Do I NOT Want?

I first tackled my needs list. These were pretty simple, basic, and flowed off the top of my brain with ease. I need x amount of dollars for my monthly expenses ( which led to I need to cut my budget), I need health insurance, I need to be available for the girls, I need to pay for therapy etc.

Next came my wants, and this was difficult. At this time there was very little sparkle left inside of me. Thinking of wants felt like dreaming and that had been temporarily snuffed out. Regardless I attempted my list. I want to feel peaceful, I want to be financially secure, I want the girls to be happy, I want to be surrounded by trees ( uh yah something else I should mention, I love big mature, leafy trees.) I want to be in environments of growth and change etc.

Last came the things that I Don’t Want. This exercise actually made me laugh, as I was astonished at what flowed from my brain to the whiteboard. I don’t want to lose my entrepreneurial spirit, I don’t want a job that requires me to have a badge to enter a building, I don’t want to be required to wear a uniform- particularly not khakis with triple pleats, I don’t want to miss any more soccer games, I don’t want to miss my kids lives, I don’t want to carry any more stress then I have to (I truly lost my ability to metabolize it) and so on.

When I stepped back and looked at my scribblings, I saw a path. Asking myself those questions told me what I needed to do. I knew the things that I had to take care of, and what to keep in mind as I took those steps. Make a living that covers your newly modified budget, and hopefully, you can find one that doesn’t require triple pleat khakis! What I also learned is that regardless of your wants, your needs will always come first. I had to take care of my family’s needs but I could architect it in a way that would make room for my wants once I got a better grasp of things. The needs are also sometimes scary to look at. However, If they will always outweigh the wants then we might as well address them head-on. There is no point in decorating your apartment if you can’t afford to keep the lights on. I know that seems pretty basic and like DUH, but I think we often in life and in work get that backward.

These three questions have continued to guide me both personally and professionally. So maybe if you are feeling a little swirly and unsure what’s next, make a list. What do you need, want, and don’t want? Perhaps there is a next step hiding in there somewhere for you! – Megan

You’ll Also Love

What Does it Mean to Make Margin for What Matters?
Voices Behind the Choices
“So much time” or “So much FOR time!”

Comments

  1. Hi are using WordPress for your site platform?

    I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own.
    Do you need any coding expertise to make your own blog?

    Any help would be greatly appreciated!

  6. Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to assert that
    I get in fact enjoyed account your blog posts.
    Any way I’ll be subscribing to your feeds and
    even I achievement you access consistently fast.

    my blog post; Cara Id Test Playboy2 (918Kiss-M.Com)

  7. Good day! I just want to offer you a huge thumbs up for your great info you have got right here on this post.
    I will be coming back to your web site for more
    soon.

    Also visit my website … bussy888

  11. Howdy just wanted to give you a quick heads up.
    The words in your content seem to be running off the screen in Opera.

    I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or something to do with web
    browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you
    know. The design look great though! Hope you get the issue fixed soon. Thanks

    My webpage … https://equipifieds.com

  13. Hello there, I found your web site by the use of Google at the same
    time as looking for a similar matter, your website got here up, it looks good.
    I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

    Look at my web blog :: Linnea

  16. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an incredibly long comment but after
    I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr…
    well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyways, just wanted to say superb blog!

    my web site … gamegamma.com.tw

  19. Whats up very nice site!! Guy .. Beautiful ..

    Amazing .. I will bookmark your web site and take the feeds also?

    I’m glad to search out so many useful info here within the publish, we want develop more techniques in this
    regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .

    Also visit my blog post … http://www.craksracing.com

  21. Hiya, I’m really glad I’ve found this info. Nowadays bloggers publish only about gossips and internet and this
    is really frustrating. A good blog with exciting content, this
    is what I need. Thanks for keeping this web-site, I’ll
    be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Can’t find it.

    My web page :: forum.muravev.blog

  23. You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find
    this matter to be actually something that I think I would never understand.
    It seems too complicated and extremely broad for me.

    I’m looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get
    the hang of it!

  27. I do not even understand how I finished up here, however
    I thought this publish was great. I do not understand who you’re however certainly you are
    going to a famous blogger if you happen to aren’t already.
    Cheers!

    Here is my web page; kebe.top

  31. Howdy would you mind stating which blog platform you’re using?

    I’m planning to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a hard time deciding
    between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and
    Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design and style seems
    different then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique.
    P.S Sorry for getting off-topic but I had to ask!

    Look into my web page – http://www.digitalnomadads.com/user/profile/9136

  32. I’m extremely impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your blog.
    Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself?
    Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing, it is
    rare to see a great blog like this one today.

Copyright © 2025 We Choose Joy · Theme by 17th Avenue